


The Recluse

by Exterminatorviolence



Series: The Ugly Organ [3]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Indie AU, M/M, OOC, Ugly Organ Verse, be warned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-27
Updated: 2014-10-27
Packaged: 2018-02-22 21:31:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2522507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Exterminatorviolence/pseuds/Exterminatorviolence
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How did he even get in this position? Pining after a boy who’s eight years younger than him? He’s more than positive that Ray feels the same way, and Joel would make the first move, he swears he would, he’s just scared. He’s scared the relationship will end up like all of his other relationships, broken and dead and bitter because for some reason, he can’t ever finish what he’s started. Can never be in a steady relationship with someone and be happy, and not feel trapped.</p><p>Joel closes his eyes as he pictures Ray asking about his music, about the relationships that inspired the music. He pictures trying to explain to Ray how he manages to somehow fuck up all his relationships. About how every time he thinks he’s done something right, it’ll turn out that he’s done something horribly wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Recluse

**Author's Note:**

  * For [deadeels](https://archiveofourown.org/users/deadeels/gifts).



The first time Joel’s worried about his relationship with Ray, it’s when he wakes up in the boy’s apartment for the first time in his bed.

\-----

Joel’s not entirely sure where he is when he blinks his eyes open. He takes a minute to take in his surroundings and eventually realizes he’s going to need to sit up. He does it slowly, still half asleep. He feels like there should be something, or someone, next to him, but there’s no one. A strange part of him pretends that he’s home. That he’s somewhere safe.

He looks around the room, the bed sheet half falling off his frame. There are notebooks scattered everywhere around the room, some half open on top of each other, and others closed and stacked neatly. Pushed to one side of the room is a bookshelf filled with books, some even on the floor piled around it.

It takes him a minute, but Joel realizes he’s in Ray’s apartment. He wonders where Ray is, and also what time it is. He looks around for a clock but can’t manage to find one, so he only assumes it’s near noon based on how much sun is pouring through the window.

He flops back onto his back and pulls a pillow over his face. He doesn't want to face the world today. All he really wants to do is fall back asleep or maybe have Ray come back in and lay with him. There’s a fear in the back of Joel’s mind though; a fear that if he gets out of this bed, he may never have the opportunity to lay back in it. He knows it’s irrational, Ray and him aren't even really dating, and Ray definitely wouldn't ban Joel from his bed. It’s irrational yes, but it’s still a worry.

Throwing the pillow off of his face, he stares up at the ceiling that has glow in the dark stars stuck on it. One’s that are old, from Ray’s childhood, and haven’t shined in a long time.

How did he even get in this position? Pining after a boy who’s eight years younger than him? He’s more than positive that Ray feels the same way, and Joel would make the first move, he swears he would, he’s just scared. He’s scared the relationship will end up like all of his other relationships, broken and dead and bitter because for some reason, he can’t ever finish what he’s started. Can never be in a steady relationship with someone and be happy, and not feel trapped.

Joel closes his eyes as he pictures Ray asking about his music, about the relationships that inspired the music. He pictures trying to explain to Ray how he manages to somehow fuck up all his relationships. About how every time he thinks he’s done something right, it’ll turn out that he’s done something horribly wrong.

_Please don’t ask me those questions._

Maybe he can just stay in the bed all day and wait for Ray to come back from wherever he is. Because he really just, doesn't want to finish anything right now. He doesn't want to get up, doesn't want to try and convince Ray that he really is a good person with good intentions, because he isn't. He’s selfish and sick and twisted, and Ray deserves someone so much better.

An hour goes by. Then another, and Joel hasn't moved from the position he’s in; still staring up at those old, faded glow in the dark stars. He doesn't move when he hears the door to the bedroom open, nor does he when he feels a body lay down next to his on the bed.

“Hey, you,” Whispers Ray and only then does Joel turn his face to see Ray’s, and he cracks a smile. “Sorry I wasn't here before. Michael said he had something important to say. So he made me go all the way to his apartment, and he didn't even have anything important to say,” Ray giggles and rolls so his head is leaning against Joel’s shoulder. “You didn't miss me too much did you?”

 _Please never leave me._ Joel thinks. But he says, “I was heartbroken.” In an over dramatic voice that has Ray giggling again.

“Oh, I’m so sorry, I’ll make sure to wake you up next time,” Ray snorts but leans over to give Joel a kiss on the cheek. “You know what we should do though?”

“Hm?” Joel’s smiling with half lidded eyes, and all his worries about his relationship suddenly just float out of his head, out of the room.

“What we should do is go get, like, pancakes or something,” Ray’s smiling too and his eyes are sparkling.

“Yeah? Pancakes? And did you just expect that I would drive you over?” Joel laughs, and rolls over on top of Ray, hugging him and shielding him from the rest of the world.

“Obviously.” Ray hooks his arms over Joel’s neck, hugging him back, keeping him there, protecting him from the world too.

“I could so easily make you walk there though,”

“Please,” Scoffs Ray. “It’s a privilege to drive me to get pancakes.”

Joel laughs, and they roll out of the bed together, landing on the ground with a thud, Ray on top of him. “Brat.” Joel huffs.

“You love me. Now come on. Food.” Ray wriggles off of Joel and gets to his feet, looking down at him expectantly. Joel notices Ray’s still wearing the same thing he had on yesterday: a pair of old jeans that have seen better days, and Joel’s too big hoodie. Joel guesses he has his old Call of Duty shirt on under that. He’s also aware that he’s wearing the same thing he was wearing yesterday: a pair of jeans just as bad, if not worse, than Ray’s and some second hand button down shirt. If it’s good enough for Ray, then it’s good enough for wherever he wants to go to eat.

Joel walks out of the bedroom, followed by Ray and they each slip on their shitty pair of shoes before walking out of the apartment. They’re both silent as they descend the stairs, but Ray keeps glancing over at Joel with a small smile on his face, and it makes his heart skip a beat and he smiles back.

They climb into Joel’s old Mercedes and Ray immediately cranks the heat up because it’s the beginning of October and cold, and Ray’s a skinny little shit who’s always cold.

“Before you ask,” Ray starts. “I don’t care where we go, I just want pancakes.” He wrangles his seat belt on and pulls his legs up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them and resting his chin on his knees.

Joel just chuckles and nods and starts to drive, one hand resting on the console in between their seats. He startles when he feels another, much smaller, hand rest in his and he looks down when he pulls up to a red light. His stomach flips when he sees Ray’s hand, which is covered by his old, gray, scratchy finger less gloves that Joel got him a month ago.

He’s still staring at their now intertwined hands when he hears a honk from behind. He jumps and the he knows the back of his neck is flushing, and Ray is laughing, eyes crinkled shut and Joel tries to splutter something out as he hits the gas, but he just ends up laughing along with Ray and squeezing his hand just a little tighter.

 


End file.
